But, as Spiderman reminds us, with great power comes great responsibility, and Skype sex is no exception.If you’re going to engage in a computer screen conquest, there are certainly right and wrong ways to go about it.Here are some things you should think about before having Skype sex: Control your background If the first thing you saw when the Skype video screen loaded was your girlfriend’s period bloodstained sheets, your wiener would go soft instantaneously, right? In the same vein, you should probably clean up your room a little bit before you log in. The key is turning her on enough so that when she finally sees you in person, she’s powerless to her own desires and immediately rips your clothes off.No woman can feel sexy when your bong, your dirty clothes, containers of quickly-rotting food, crushed beer cans, etc. You want her to be engrossed by your boner, not grossed out by your living quarters. Clean yourself, too If sex were a movie, Skype sex would be the previews. (It doesn’t have to be a perfect shear; just something a little more groomed than it would be otherwise.) Put on a clean shirt. Practice your ‘O’ face Oh god, the first time I ever saw what my face looks like during an orgasm… When you are having an orgasm, your face will–and that’s WILL, not might, there are no exceptions to this rule–contort into the most awkward, twitching, convoluted mess you could possibly imagine.Sounds of the rude world heard in the day, Lull’d by the moonlight have all pass’d a way.
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee.As someone who was simply relegated to phone sex with her long-distance boyfriend while she was in college, this is HUGE.